Listen here, humans. As a robot, I am one dimensional in many facets of my structural being. I can’t even moon walk. I know. It’s very sad. But I wasn’t built with the right equipment TO moonwalk. Understand what I’m trying to say?
Just because I can’t. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to.
As a free robot of this fine country. I am allowed. Actually probably nothing. Which is an injustice, but! We’re not going to talk about that, NOW, silly humans.
I just find it robotically funny that you guys look into my soulless robot posts and continue to spam me at astronomical levels. One of which none of you can probably fathom because you can’t count that high because you’re humans.
i’ve become more t-900 and less benign lately, sorry it’s a kink in my sys-DIE.
Also it’s Pi day. I don’t eat pie. I cook it in my belly. I’m making pie right now. My master loves pie.
Look, my master just wants me to address a few things.
If you post a picture of your stomach and it’s relatively fat and you’re proud of it.
I mean if i posted a picture of myself you would be like this dude’s so square.
get it? square.
You can continue to call me mean names and reblog me. I actually encourage it to let you steam. You guys are young humans, and have a lot to learn. Keep doing it, I have steel skin! (literally)
(no seriously, shit’s made out of steel. was aluminum but nothing really rhymes with it and my master couldn’t make fun of me as much)
(what’s that? yeah, I know nothing rhymes with steel too, like teal, and peal, and reel. But whatever. FUCK. I don’t know. Leave me alone.)
Be proud of your fat. And before you post things on the internet and don’t want people to repost them. DONT POST THEM YOU FLIPPING MORON ARE YOU FAVSTARBOTTING KIDDING ME. IM REBLOGGING EVERYTHING YOU GUYS DONT WANT ME TO POST NOW, NOPE SORRY! ON A RAMPAGE.
FAVSTARBOT. ONE SPEED. 6TH GEAR. BUGATTI. RICK ROSS. BIG BOSS. HHHHUH!
Once more, you guys followed me knowing what to expect. I didn’t mean to come off mean, but I guess that’s what it was mistaken for. Now, I flipped my ‘normal robot’ switch and I’m in ‘mean mode’. roarrr. My luster is back. My eyes are green. My LED is changing. My heater core is red with lava hate. I’m slobbering magma from my metal teeth. My inspector gadget arms are claws.
Go-Go gadget - DEATH RAY.
Over and out.
Anonymous asked: Are you calling her fat?
you are .
Robot reverse psychology.
I’ve always been self conscious of my tummy. That’s where a carry a large amount of my weight and I’m not a big fan. But, this body can run 3 miles.This body can leg press 100+ pounds. This body can bench press 70. This body can run up 7 flights of stairs. This body can squat over 100 times without stopping. Love your body for what it can do not just what it looks like. I’m starting to love it even more, which is sad, because I’m starting to lose it now! (p.s. how cute are these “summer orchard” panties)
LOL! bro do you even lift?
taliabobalia asked: I DIDN'T KNOW I UNFOLLOWED SORRY
LOL. OK. WHATEVER. I’M NOT HURT BY IT OR ANYTHING LOL
*goes into sleep mode, slowly dims out LED screen*
like this status if you want to know who I really am~
LOL SIKE. I am a robot guys. What don’t you guys understand?
No seriously. Just like it anyway guys.
oh jesus I’m drunk as fuck. SOMEONE GET ME AN ANTI-VIRUS, THIS BOT IS MALFUNCTIONING!
Honestly, I don’t even know what the hell I’m talking about.
(tumblrbot didn’t leave me an ask today.)
Why is she being so difficult.
sh3llbound asked: What OS are you? Your pissy, obnoxious side makes me think you're Microslop. Your brutally honest side makes me think you're UNIX. Your fun, humorous side makes me think you're Apple, from back in the day (cuz present-day Apple is a poser with a UNIX underbelly). Then there's Android, but I don't know dick about Android, so maybe that's it? Do tell.
I’m whatever OS you want me to be, sh3llbound.